To every life there is a certain flow of life. Mine is crazy! Come and enjoy my Crazy Life.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Crazy Life: Attack on Life
Crazy Life: Attack on Life: "Have you ever had spiritual warfare so bad that it just chews you up and spits you out? These are things I've been tossing around these las..."
Attack on Life
Have you ever had spiritual warfare so bad that it just chews you up and spits you out? These are things I've been tossing around these last couple of days. Case in point, this morning I was at a mops meeting with some of the most amazing women I've ever met. I love these women, they've become very close to my heart in such a short time. I was great going in the meeting, but half way through I started what most call a panic attack. We had to share somethings about ourselves. At first I was great, I started thinking what I was going to say. But the more I thought about it, the more I was getting the feeling of self doubt. In my heart, I knew God wanted me there. But in the back of my mind, I started to hear, "You are not wanted here, they don't want you. Who said your good enough for this? Why are you even here? Go away. Nobody wants you." It started eating at me and eating at me till I couldn't stand it any longer. When the meeting was done, I got out as soon as I could and walked as fast as I could and just cried. I started beating myself down, cause that's what I'm good at, asking myself, "Yeah Lisa, Why are you here? I'm sure they just needed someone to fill a spot." And after a couple min. of banter and bringing myself down. I started to sing,
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up: To more than I can be.
I started feel alittle bit better. I picked up Nicholas with alittle bit more zip than what I had about 5 mins. before. On and on it went today with the back and forth banter that's it's been a very hard day, spiritally and emotionally. I get to the point where I allow the evil one to put me in such a cornor that panic soon follows and I soon begin to believe the lies that are whispered in my ear, alittle to often as of late.
I've come to a conclusion to why I've been feeling like I've been getting more attacked than before. I have just recently started to put peace in a place that I haven't allowed to touch in for about 15 years. It's something I knew I had to do. It was eating away at me and I knew deep down in my heart that if I wanted to move on in my spiritual growth that I had to truly learn the phrase "forgive and forget." Those words are very important words. How do you teach that phrase to your kids, if you yourself won't practice it. Demonstrating to them how to love one another and not hold something over someone else's head and heart. If I was truly, truly going to grow in life, in love, and in spirit, I needed to look into my own heart and stop hiding from the dark cornors that where slowly taking over all the places of my heart. I know I need to keep fighting and keep moving. This old girl isn't ready to give up.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up: To more than I can be.
I started feel alittle bit better. I picked up Nicholas with alittle bit more zip than what I had about 5 mins. before. On and on it went today with the back and forth banter that's it's been a very hard day, spiritally and emotionally. I get to the point where I allow the evil one to put me in such a cornor that panic soon follows and I soon begin to believe the lies that are whispered in my ear, alittle to often as of late.
I've come to a conclusion to why I've been feeling like I've been getting more attacked than before. I have just recently started to put peace in a place that I haven't allowed to touch in for about 15 years. It's something I knew I had to do. It was eating away at me and I knew deep down in my heart that if I wanted to move on in my spiritual growth that I had to truly learn the phrase "forgive and forget." Those words are very important words. How do you teach that phrase to your kids, if you yourself won't practice it. Demonstrating to them how to love one another and not hold something over someone else's head and heart. If I was truly, truly going to grow in life, in love, and in spirit, I needed to look into my own heart and stop hiding from the dark cornors that where slowly taking over all the places of my heart. I know I need to keep fighting and keep moving. This old girl isn't ready to give up.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Crazy Life: My love for FOOD.
Crazy Life: My love for FOOD.: "I love to cook. I love it when I can take all these simple ingredients and create a master peice from it. What is not to love? What I lov..."
My love for FOOD.
I love to cook. I love it when I can take all these simple ingredients and create a master peice from it. What is not to love? What I love most is to challenge myself in cooking. I take something that seems like a difficult recipe and make it my own. If there's something I don't like, I change it. It's whatever I want it to be. Maybe I love it so much cause this is an area where I know I am in control. (an ongoing problem with my husband and I) The moto in our house when I try something new is, "If it sucks, There's always the Pizza Ranch." How can you not love cooking when your thats your moto?
I do have one problem with the eating process. Just one. I have, what I like to call, Food Amnesia.
Have you ever had Food amnesia? I have. Plenty of times. Going in for the flashback....once a couple of years ago, I discovered the most wonderful bar alive. This bar is about 5000 calories in one bite and you have to do about a thousand sit ups just to make up that one bite. But soo well worth it! It was called the twins bar. I mean it has a sugar cookie crust, Carmel filling and a milk chocolate top. How can you get any better then that? The first time I made it, I was in heaven. It had all the qualities a bar should have. Chocolate and Carmel. This bar and me were made for each other. Later that night, I went to put the bar away and half of it was gone. I wondered, did my son get into it? Nope, he's only one. He has yet to realize that he can climb. Mike just got home, he couldn't of had that much already. Where did all of it go. I searched my food journal, only one bar was written down. What in the world happened to the bars? Deep down I had a feeling I knew. One of my brothers and sisters came into the house and took half for themselves. Greedy little jerks. That is mine! Okay so for about a half an hour, I finally realized that they couldn't have taken it. I was in here all day. Sorry. Then the whole puzzle came to when, I was sitting in the kitchen with something in my hand. THE BAR. It was me...I ate too many and now I thought I was going to be sick. I didn't get sick, but then again I never made the bars for a "just at home snack." These bars are for a big get together and I'm not taking any more home.
So there's my horrifying story!
Want a great bar recipie---you'll love it---full of fatty goodness.
Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars
INGREDIENTS
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1/2cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup coconut, if desired
1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury® refrigerated chocolate chip cookies
DIRECTIONS
1.Heat oven to 350°F. In small bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar and egg until smooth. Stir in coconut.
2.In ungreased, 9- or 8-inch square pan, break up half of cookie dough. With floured fingers, press dough evenly in bottom of pan to form crust. Spread cream cheese mixture over dough. Crumble and sprinkle remaining half of dough over cream cheese mixture.
3.Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until golden brown and firm to the touch. Cool 30 minutes. Refrigerate at least 2 hours or until chilled. For bars, cut into 4 rows by 4 rows. Store in refrigerator.
I do have one problem with the eating process. Just one. I have, what I like to call, Food Amnesia.
Have you ever had Food amnesia? I have. Plenty of times. Going in for the flashback....once a couple of years ago, I discovered the most wonderful bar alive. This bar is about 5000 calories in one bite and you have to do about a thousand sit ups just to make up that one bite. But soo well worth it! It was called the twins bar. I mean it has a sugar cookie crust, Carmel filling and a milk chocolate top. How can you get any better then that? The first time I made it, I was in heaven. It had all the qualities a bar should have. Chocolate and Carmel. This bar and me were made for each other. Later that night, I went to put the bar away and half of it was gone. I wondered, did my son get into it? Nope, he's only one. He has yet to realize that he can climb. Mike just got home, he couldn't of had that much already. Where did all of it go. I searched my food journal, only one bar was written down. What in the world happened to the bars? Deep down I had a feeling I knew. One of my brothers and sisters came into the house and took half for themselves. Greedy little jerks. That is mine! Okay so for about a half an hour, I finally realized that they couldn't have taken it. I was in here all day. Sorry. Then the whole puzzle came to when, I was sitting in the kitchen with something in my hand. THE BAR. It was me...I ate too many and now I thought I was going to be sick. I didn't get sick, but then again I never made the bars for a "just at home snack." These bars are for a big get together and I'm not taking any more home.
So there's my horrifying story!
Want a great bar recipie---you'll love it---full of fatty goodness.
Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars
INGREDIENTS
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1/2cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup coconut, if desired
1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury® refrigerated chocolate chip cookies
DIRECTIONS
1.Heat oven to 350°F. In small bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar and egg until smooth. Stir in coconut.
2.In ungreased, 9- or 8-inch square pan, break up half of cookie dough. With floured fingers, press dough evenly in bottom of pan to form crust. Spread cream cheese mixture over dough. Crumble and sprinkle remaining half of dough over cream cheese mixture.
3.Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until golden brown and firm to the touch. Cool 30 minutes. Refrigerate at least 2 hours or until chilled. For bars, cut into 4 rows by 4 rows. Store in refrigerator.
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